VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
