Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
