She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
