you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
