I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize