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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  dibs on John Mayer's hood pass

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?

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• (585): View more from New York

  Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.

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