you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
