Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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