Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
