yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
