Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
