I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The Olympian is in my bed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
