My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
