Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
