Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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