it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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