arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
