I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
