Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
