can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
