im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Green mimosas i think yes
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
