Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
