I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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