They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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