We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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