This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
