First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
