Yo dont text me then not text me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
