I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
