so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
