She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
