But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
