He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
