I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
BRING THE BAGELS
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
