I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
