we made out on top of his cat.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
