yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
