i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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