we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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