another moral hangover. fuck.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
