I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
