i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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