Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
