I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
ok first of all what the fuck
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
