Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
