I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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