remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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