...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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