Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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