too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My balls are so social today.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
