she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize