Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
