I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
