My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I FOUND THE LEGS
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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