Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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