he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
