The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
