Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
