Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
