my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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