Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
