I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
