the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
