I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Randomize
